I —honest to God—- tried traditional marriage for 🚩🚩🚩🚩 (Four!) years… AskMe Anything. I spent 2018 to 2020 as a surrendered wife. I’m a certified coach in the ways of becoming a surrendered wife. How to act, all the rules. I broke myself apart to fill the shape of his container. It was a partContinue reading “I surrender and then I live”
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Morphia Tells Me
Close your eyes, and see nothing but blackness Now see the blackness ripple little purple ripples coming out from the center Like they are being vibrated by pulsating music Walk through the blackness at your feet Find that the pool you are in is as deep as you’d like It feels like whatever you’d likeContinue reading “Morphia Tells Me”
Through the Valleys – an introduction to my first book
“Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, ‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.” Rumi perhaps or Hāfiz I choke a little when I think of that day. The day of our wedding, I started out crying, worried you’d never beContinue reading “Through the Valleys – an introduction to my first book”
Cleaning My Brain and Space
The word I chose for 2021 was CLEAN. Here’s my reflection on how it went. I chose the word “CLEAN” because at that point in my journey I had been home for practically all of 2020 and I didn’t like all the negative feelings I had toward myself when I looked around my home. MyContinue reading “Cleaning My Brain and Space”
Love is a Verb, Practice Daily
Let me tell you a story you’ve already experienced… You get into a relationship because you like this person, regardless of the specifics, there are things that attracted you to them, maybe those things aren’t present now, but they were at the time. Follow me for a second and visualize those things. Remember what itContinue reading “Love is a Verb, Practice Daily”
What to do when your husband explodes
A few of you have recently had experiences where your husband gets strangely aggressive quite suddenly and it’s scary and strange. I wanted to share that this seems to be a shared experience that’s happening at least partially on a collective level. I’m not sure exactly what the implications of that are, but I wantContinue reading “What to do when your husband explodes”
Just Keep Swimming…
Hello Friends, It’s been tooooooo long. And I don’t say that because I hold myself to a standard that I haven’t met, which is what old Bonnie would mean by that. What I mean is that I LOVE writing. It is one of those things that I enjoy doing. I get lots and lots outContinue reading “Just Keep Swimming…”
My Grandmother who Always Chose Control
This morning my mom came over and spoke of how lovely she was feeling with her new life here in California, free from all of “those people” she said with aversion. It reminded me of this piece I wrote over the summer that I’d figure I’d share. I asked her to sit down with meContinue reading “My Grandmother who Always Chose Control”
Reprioritizing Saved Me
When I had my first baby, I was woefully underprepared in all the ways that mattered and over-prepared in all the ways that didn’t. I was an only child who felt awkward around children who couldn’t talk so I didn’t do much baby babysitting. The first diaper I ever changed was in theContinue reading “Reprioritizing Saved Me”
Late Summer is Hard
This is hard time of year for me every year. It’s hot. We don’t have central AC and we only run window units at night when electricity is cheaper for us. The fires are terrifying. The ash in the air makes me worried. All of our precious belongings are packed in the car and I’mContinue reading “Late Summer is Hard”
Bonnie Stewart 